Chapter 3:
Visiting
Dear Bella,
It's November now,
two months and counting since our separation, though I'm not really
concentrating on time.
I said last time
that I left my heart behind. I'm beginning to really feel that loss
now. I haven't felt anything like this in all my years. The agony of
losing you doesn't compare to anything, not the influenza, or my
transformation, or the burn in my throat on your first day. I feel
nothing else, nothing but pain and grief and sadness.
I checked in with
Carlisle last week. They are all well, getting on with things.
Carlisle has a new job, working nights at a university. Esme is
indulging her passion for restoration. Rosalie and Emmet have gotten
married again and gone off on a honeymoon, to Europe. Jasper
is studying philosophy, and Alice is doing research. She told me she
had a sister named Cynthia, and her real name was Mary Brandon (Alice
was her middle name). She seems content to stay away, as I requested,
but she thinks I won't be able to keep it up for long. Well, I'll
prove her wrong.
I tried a few
tracking expeditions, but they didn't go well. I thought I came
across something familiar just north of Seattle after my visit to
Carlisle, but I couldn't place it, so I didn't bother following it,
keeping to the trail I was already on. Maybe I'll try again, maybe
not. I told you I would distract myself, but I don't think I can. The
agony inside of me never fades; it is a thousand times worse than
thirst, and no amount of distraction can take it away.
I love you forever
Bella. I wish I could ask you not to forget that, but I can't,
because I want you to forget me and move on. For your own good.
Be happy.
Edward
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