Chapter 4:
Memories
Dear Bella,
December. To you
that probably means snow, cold and Christmas. To me it just means I
haven't smelt your intoxicating scent or felt your comforting warmth
or heard your magical heartbeat in three long, agonizing months.
The loss of you is
all I can comprehend. And yet I can't blame anyone, because my pain
is of my own making.
I let my mind
wander, when I can't stop myself, over the time we had together, all
the wonderful feelings and sights; your warm little body in my arms
when I showed you myself in the sun the first time; the thrill I got
when I kissed you, and how, despite myself, I was happy you reacted
the way you did; your scent, like freesia, so floral and sweet; how
beautiful you looked at prom; every smile and every glare, every
word, every tender 'I love you', all cemented into my head forever.
All of my happy memories of my little fallen angel.
Nothing is
happening. Nothing, nothing and more nothing. I thought high school
was boring, but this is ten times worse because I know why my
life seems empty. Without my Bella, life is dead.
I was thinking
more about who could take my place in your life. I decided that the
perfect person, though I hate to admit it, is that Jacob Black boy.
Loving him would be more natural for you; he's already your friend,
and he likes you a lot, I saw it his head whenever he was near you.
He is the natural course of your life. He is what you should love.
Merry Christmas,
my angel.
Edward
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